Translation - martek76 kalhornov@gmail.com
PARIS, I LOVE YOU
SMALL NEIGHBORHOOD ROMANCES...
Are you leaving?
Shit.
Not a single free place.
Shitty neighborhood. Shitty radio.
I can't believe it.
Alright.
Are you stupid?
You whore!
Already?
Impossible.
No.
Besides, he looks like a dumbass.
I've just arrived.
So I'm... That's right.
Kids.
Not one is single. Not one.
It's becoming a tragedy.
I don't get it. I have what it takes to be likeable.
I'm still handsome, lean.
I have a nice car, which still works;
after a technical check-up, no comments.
One of the wipers is screwy, just one airbag, but it's OK.
My monthly income isn't bad.
My sense of humor is pretty good.
I can joke about many things.
About myself.
But I'm miserably lonesome... All alone in the universe.
Emptiness.
What the...
Can you hear me?
Don't touch her.
I'm a doctor. Don't pick her up.
Don't move, doll.
She's fine.
I said, get up, doll.
Let her get up.
- Should we call the firemen? - She's fine.
She needs sugar.
She should eat carrots.
Carrots or rather beets?
She should eat sugar.
You'll lie down in my car and you'll feel better.
It's alright, doll.
Stop it with that "doll". It's starting to piss me off.
- Will you manage? - Yes, thank you.
I'm sorry. I don't have anything for you.
I'm not the kind of guy, who rides around with a box of tissues.
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
You stayed calm.
Yes...
I passed a first aid exam.
Had you remained unconscious, I'd have placed you in a PLS position.
What position?
A PLS position. A safe lateral position.
I'd try to keep the main axis of your body completely...
Can you turn off the music?
Yes.
There you go.
Your hand on my neck did me some good.
Me too.
If we think about dolphins...
In case of beached dolphins,
people pour water over them.
But it doesn't make a difference.
They die surrounded by beings they don't know.
Who told you that it doesn't make a difference?
Yes...
It's true that it's not...
Anyway, you have cool shoes.
My Clarks shoes?
Yes.
I have them since I was 14.
Really?
But I don't wear them all the time.
No.
I have an appointment with my tabacologist.
Your taba what?
My tabacologist.
- Soon? - Yes, soon.
I can drive you there.
You don't know where it is. There might be a traffic jam.
No problem. I'll squeeze my way through.
I won't be there long.
No problem. I'll wait for you.
Show me the thong.
Show us your ass.
Miss, can you borrow me your thong?
I'm out of dental floss. Please.
Check out that chick.
Miss, if I buy you a drink, can I get a rub?
I have a bungalow close by.
No luck.
Shut up. Besides, she was no good.
Yeah, sure.
Shut it. I've had more ass than you two put together.
I'm the one who scores.
And you're no good.
Show me how you do it.
Look how an expert does it.
Hello, ladies.
You're charming. A tasty dish.
You know what?
When you start shaving, let me know.
You loser!
You caved in.
You gotta go for it.
Show'em.
Listen: I'm not the one who hasn't scored for a month.
Did you see that chick?
What's he doing?
He went to save her!
Are you alright?
Morons.
Thanks.
They have a bad look about them.
I'm sorry about them.
It doesn't matter.
Can I help you?
Yes, please.
Sorry.
I'm not sure how to do this.
Alright?
How do I look?
I'll show you.
Smile.
You now have another trick to hit on girls.
I don't do that. My friends screw around.
They're pathetic.
Yeah.
You have beautiful hair. Why are you forced to cover it up?
I'm not forced. It was my choice.
Too bad.
Because you're very pretty.
Thank you, but...
Does that mean that without it I'm ugly?
I didn't mean that.
You and your pals, you only insult women.
Why do you talk like that, even though you know
they don't like it?
It's enough that I find myself pretty.
When I wear my headscarf, I feel I have a faith.
An identity.
I feel good.
And that's also beauty.
Explain that to your pals and maybe one day...
they'll hook up with a chick.
I have to go.
Where to?
The mosque.
Can you hand me my bag?
Thank you.
And thank you for helping me.
Don't mention it.
Did you crack?
What?
Are you nuts?
If you touch her,
her old man will smoke your ass.
Miss!
Don't search. I'm right here.
Miss, you're late. I've been waiting an hour.
I don't get it. We're a couple of cute guys.
Shall we go?
Hi.
Grandpa, this is the boy who helped me.
- Hello. - Hello.
I didn't expect you here.
Francois.
Zarka.
- How are your hands? - Fine.
It was very nice of you to help her.
It was nothing special.
We're going this way. Care to join us?
Are you a student?
Yes. I'm studying history.
Very nice, my boy.
Knowing your history is very important.
Zarka wants to be a journalist.
An international journalist.
She wants to write about France.
But her own personal France.
Hello.
Elie, can you bring us two glasses of wine?
Show me.
Great.
The red is the most important.
We need to get the same red.
Alright.
Blood red.
Alright.
I think we used auto paint.
Come with me to the back of the shop.
Have we met before?
I have this impression we've crossed paths.
Where do you live? I live in the 17th.
Maybe I saw you in my neighborhood.
You're not much of a talker.
I'm not sure, but I think I've seen you before.
You have a mystic look.
There's really something special about your look.
Do you believe in ghosts?
I really dig that topic.
Maybe we knew each other in another time, another era.
Do you have a light?
A light?
Thank you.
It's weird, but when I saw you,
I felt the need to talk to you.
As if...
I don't know... It's very strong...
It's weird.
I figured that if I didn't talk to you before disappearing,
I would be missing out on something...
important.
That's beautiful, isn't it?
You work in a nice place.
I didn't want to miss the chance to talk to you, because...
It's dumb, but I just didn't want to.
Anyway...
May I?
Yes.
Do you believe in soul mates?
Someone who's your other half.
Do you like jazz?
Yes.
Charlie Parker.
And Kurt Cobain? I adore Kurt Cobain.
Never mind.
I'll give you my number.
I'd love to talk to you.
If you call.
A more serious and, above all, a longer talk.
Longer...
Here.
Thank you very much.
It's done.
Have a good return trip.
Bye.
- Bye. - Bye.
What happened?
His phone number.
Call him and you'll find out.
What are you looking at, asshole?
Stop it.
What are you looking at, asshole?
Axel, stop it.
I'm talking to you! What are you looking at, asshole?
I'm talking to you, cocksucker.
You like my chick? You wanna do her?
Is that it?
You cocksucker.
You wanna do her? You like her?
Look at him.
Look at that cocksucker.
What do you want? You wanna do her?
Don't shit me!
You like her?
Look. That asshole is shitting me!
What are you doing, you shit?!
Are you losing it?!
What are you doing?
- What are you doing? - I'm doing what I want, you jerk-off!
Bring your ass back here.
The slut!
With the tongue!
What a slut! I can't take it!
That wasn't bad, was it?
You're a real killer.
You must work out regularly.
So...
Do you like hot jazz?
What were you doing with your tongue?
Are you done?
Yeah, I'm done.
- Do you feel better? - Yeah.
You like to fight?
Sure. When I'm with you.
- Do you love me? - What do you think?
- Did you see what I did to him? - I loved it!
Don't shoot people in the face. It's not nice.
- Ana, is that you? - Yes.
I have to get going. I'm late already.
Call my cell at noon,
to tell me how the morning went.
Yes.
Ana, I'll be back a bit later tonight. An hour or so, not more.
Does that bother you?
No.
I'm sorry miss.
I'm sorry... Do you know where I can find this hairdresser?
Do you know her?
Alright...
Hi, skaters.
Hi, youngsters.
Listen... Do you know where this is?
Miss Li.
- Good luck. - Really?
Sit!
Your ticket.
What the hell are you doing here?
Let me introduce myself: I'm Mr. Henny.
I'm a representative for the House of Niole.
I've come to present you our new line of products
specially designed for Asian people.
I'm at your disposal, if...
is you.
Hello?
Jean?
Yes.
Bovais here.
How's your first day at work?
Yes, boss. Fine.
Take it easy.
Yes.
Phones are not allowed.
Yes, miss. I know where he is.
She's waiting for you.
There you are!
Get to work.
But... I've never done this.
Piece of cake.
Let's do it.
What class!
Lacquer.
It means: I love you.
I LOVE YOU.
Would you love me more if I had this hairdo?
No. I think I'd love you more if you had this one.
I love you like this.
He looked at his wife, who crossed the street.
She was wearing a red trench coat, which she promised to throw away
and which she kept pulling out of her closet, year after year.
She approached all things the same way.
And it was that trait that attracted him, when he first met her.
The same clothes worn over and over again.
Piles of lipsticks, which she never used.
That song...
life's vortex, which she intonated while making food,
was a part of the life that had become alien to him
and which he intended to abandon between the main dish and dessert.
Hello, miss.
Hello.
He realized the weird and logical inappropriateness of the place
he had chosen to abandon her.
It was here that he first realized
that he had stopped loving her.
When she smiled, he was on the verge of shouting:
"I'm leaving you!"
"Stop smiling."
But instead he offered her some wine.
It pissed him off that she never ordered any hors d'oeuvres or dessert.
But she almost always ate his whole portion.
The worst thing was that he always ended up ordering what she loved.
"I'm not sure I actually like that cake." he thought solemnly.
When she started to cry like she never cried before,
he thought that she knows he was leaving her for Marie-Christine,
a passionate flight attendant, who he loved for a year and a half.
"She knows" he thought.
She's known it for some time.
I should have expected it.
Still crying, she took out some documents from her handbag
and handed them to him.
The documents were written in a lifeless medical language
and described leukemia in its terminal stage.
I'm sorry.
Having read the documents, the meeting's purpose flew out of his mind.
And a weird metallic voice said to him:
You have to be up to the task!
And he was.
He ordered 3 pieces of cake as take-out
and sent an SMS to his mistress.
FORGET ABOUT ME. SERGIO
He surrounded her with the care she always desired.
He hung paintings. He moved things from one place to another.
He accompanied her to morning showings of her favorite movies.
He went with her to sales, even though he hated shopping.
He read Murakami's "Sputnik Sweetheart" aloud.
And everything, even the most mundane things, had a different meaning,
since he learned he was doing them for her for the last time.
Behaving like a man in love,
he once again became a man in love.
And when she died in his arms,
he fell into an emotional coma
from which he never awoke.
And until this day, years later,
his heart still sinks
when he sees a woman in a red trench coat.
Mommy, mommy...
Cowboys still exist.
I saw them in books.
You told me there are none, but that was not true.
Mommy...
Mommy, mommy...
Cowboys still exist.
It's true. I saw them in books.
You told me there are none, but that was not true.
Isis, go to the kitchen.
Are you going to starve to death?
A week has passed.
He went to heaven.
It seems God wants me to suffer
and mourn here on earth.
Mommy, can I go out to see my friends?
Mommy, I'm going out!
Justin?
Justin, don't go!
Justin?
Justin?!
Justin...
Mommy! Mommy!
Mommy, my friend, he doesn't have... Can I go to him?
- Please. - Don't go!
- Please. - Don't go there!
Don't go there, understand? Don't go.
Suzanne!
Dad's calling you.
Mommy!
Go. Dad's waiting.
No...
Can I go now?
Suzanne!
What happened?
Where did you get this strength?
God gave me it.
What's your name?
Don't look at your parents. Look at the camera.
- What's your name? - Jean-Claude.
Jean-Claude, tell us where your parents met each other.
In prison.
In prison?
Alright. Tell me about them.
My dad was sad because he didn't have a woman
and he spent each morning alone in his house.
STUPID MIME
Let me out of here!
Shut up!
I don't want to be with these two!
Shit!
Put me in a different cell!
Help!
Let me out!
I've finished telling my story.
Son of mimes!
Son of mimes.
Claire!
I told you to take the metro.
Maybe I shouldn't have called.
I don't know.
You could speak to me in French,
since you're now in Paris.
You're not young!
I am experience.
No. I have experience.
I have experience.
I don't know...
You think this is funny?
It's my life as well.
And you thought of me?
Am I dreaming?
You want me to trust you, but you do whatever pleases you.
You shouldn't smoke.
Wait.
I be sorry.
No. I am sorry.
My little Claire.
Claire...
My little Claire.
Thank you, dad.
Sara.
Mr. Lang. Good evening.
My little Gaspard!
Alright.
- See you, Sara! - Bye.
See you, my darling!
Wait.
- What did he say? - Nothing.
I'd like to know what he said.
My little Gaspard.
Ken here. I've come to see Liz.
I'll go get Liz. Wait inside.
I don't have any cash on me.
I'll go get some.
Do you know where I can get some money?
On de Bretagne street. Just turn right.
Here you go.
You don't have any change?
No.
We can get some at the cafe.
Yeah.
- Good evening. - Good evening.
What would you like?
A beer.
- Two beers please. - Yes.
What are you doing in Paris?
I'm playing in a movie.
What kind of movie?
A costume movie.
Are you filming this evening?
Yes. The whole night.
I have to go there in an hour.
Can I come?
If you want to.
But if I come, I don't want to be thrown out.
What?
If I come, I don't want to be thrown out.
You can call me.
I don't know your number.
It's an American phone, so you have to dial 001.
Careful. It's strong.
See you later.
Yes?
It's Liz.
If you want to come now's the time.
After it'll be too late.
You need my help?
Yes.
Yes, the same stuff for my friend.
I'm at Payenne street number 12.
Where's Ken?
He had to make a delivery.
For an important client.
He asked me to help you out.
Well... Bye.
Careful. It's strong.
Besides, you know that.
Something bit me.
A filthy mosquito.
You have to be careful in a neighborhood like this.
Is the wound big?
What's your name?
Sophie.
I'd like to give you my card, but I don't have it anymore.
Too bad.
Sophie?
Will you have a coffee with me?
Please.
Can I rub your feet?
Why do you want to rub my feet?
Because your feet hurt.
They do?
You ran all night in my dreams.
Please. Have a coffee with me.
They're coming.
I'm sorry. Can you bring us two coffees?
What are you doing?
Are you nuts?
Don't you remember me?
Miss, not this way!
That way, miss!
Yes. That way.
Thank you.
Don't mention it.
That's a pretty song.
Thank you.
Miss!
Will you go and have a coffee with me?
Do you think I'm stupid?
Get to work.
Don't play games with me.
Get up.
Pick up your stuff and move out.
I'm sorry. I mistook you for someone.
- Do you know each other? - No.
What are you doing?
You don't know him either?
- Lend me your guitar for a moment. - No.
For a moment. I'll give it back.
And now I'm walking around with your guitar!
What are you doing?
Where do you think you are?
Hello.
Excuse me.
Are you new on the job?
Miss, your coffee.
What can I get you sir?
A Debon.
Here you go.
- Can you play my favorite song again? - Yes, of course.
That's a beautiful song.
I fell in love when it was playing.
For the first and only time in my life.
What are you doing in here?
Keep quiet.
I want to know why you need this.
Showing me some affection would be a nice change.
Instead of looking at me with bitterness.
Give me a surprise kiss. Surprise me with something.
But, but, but...
But that's not what I call beauty.
You're the only woman that I've ever loved.
Who do you think you are?
Get your dirty hands off of me.
And stop touching me
and looking at me with that crazy look.
Considering all that was bad,
I think we still did very well.
AN EVENING WITH FANNY FORESTIER AND BOB LEANDER. LAST DAYS.
Late in the night...
Yes?
Francine.
Francine... I remember it exactly.
It was the 15th of May.
Spring was late to arrive and rain clouds were gathering.
And you were screaming.
Good luck.
And of course you were accepted.
You left Boston and moved to live in Paris.
A small apartment on a street in the Faubourg Saint-Denis.
I showed you my neighborhood, my bars, my school.
I introduced you to my friends.
My parents.
I listened to you as you learned your lines.
I listened to your singing, to your hopes.
Your desires. I listened to your music.
And you listened to mine.
You listened to my Italian, German, Russian.
I gave you a walkman and you gave me a pillow.
And then one day, you kissed me.
Time passed.
Time raced.
And everything seemed so easy,
so simple.
Free.
So new and unique.
We went to the movies.
We went dancing.
Shopping.
We laughed.
You cried.
We swam, we smoked.
We shaved.
From time to time you screamed.
Without reason.
Sometimes with reason.
Yes, sometimes with reason.
I walked you to the conservatory.
I studied for my exams.
I listened to your singing, to your hopes.
Your desires. I listened to your music.
And you listened to mine.
We were close. So close.
Ever closer.
We went to the movies.
We went swimming.
We laughed together.
You screamed.
Sometimes with reason.
And sometimes without.
Time passed.
Time raced.
I walked you to the conservatory.
I studied for my exams.
You listened as I spoke Italian, German, Russian, French.
I studied for my exams.
You screamed.
Sometimes with reason.
Time passed, without reason.
You screamed.
Without reason.
I studied for my exams.
Exams, exams...
Time passed.
You screamed.
You screamed, you screamed...
I went to the movies.
Forgive me, Francine.
Yes?
- Thank you. - Good night.
Mrs. Richmond.
Good evening.
Please, this way.
Good evening, sir.
Go ahead.
Here.
What can I get you?
Here you go. The menu.
Two crabs and two glasses of wine.
- Good night. - Good night, Mrs. Richmond.
You don't pay anything, sir. It's on the house.
Whose turn is it to read?
Mine.
Alright, Carol. Go ahead.
I'd like to tell you about a special day
during my recent trip to Paris.
My whole life I dreamed of going there.
And that's why I studied French in a class for adults
for 2 years.
I saved up some money and went to Paris for 6 days.
After 5 days I still felt jetlagged
and I felt a little tired the whole time.
This was my first trip to Europe.
I wanted to go there for two weeks,
but I couldn't leave my dogs all alone for that long.
I really liked the museums and streets of Paris.
Only the food wasn't as good as I expected.
I considered coming to Paris with a group,
but I'm a very independent person.
Since I work as a mailman in Denver,
I was used to walking every day.
I also wanted to live an adventure in a foreign place.
Excuse me.
And I also wanted to practice my French.
Do you know where I can find a good restaurant around here?
They say a lot of things about Paris.
They say it's a place where artists find inspiration.
They say it's a place where people come
to discover something new about their lives.
They say it's a place where you can find love.
Of course, at my age, I didn't expect any of that.
But during those days, I thought a lot about my life.
I pondered whether I liked Paris
and whether I would want to live there if I had the money.
I imagined myself delivering the mail every day
and getting to know the people who live there.
I'm sure they're very nice.
I visited a known cemetery, where famous people are buried.
I saw the grave of Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir.
According to my guidebook,
they were famous French writers, who loved each other very much.
And that's why they're buried together.
And I saw the grave of a man whose name was Porfirio Diaz.
According to my book, he was Mexico's dictator for 35 years.
It was interesting to be near a man who had had great power,
but who now could not move or talk.
I thought about my sister Patty, who died at a very young age.
And I thought about my mother, who died of cancer last year.
One day, I also will be buried
and maybe no one will come to visit me.
But I don't care. I'll be dead.
But I'm not a sad person.
On the contrary.
I'm a happy person.
I have many friends and two wonderful dogs.
Sometimes I think that it would be nice to have someone,
with whom to share this life.
For example, as I was looking down on Paris from atop a skyscraper,
I wanted to say to someone: "It's beautiful, isn't it?".
But there isn't anyone.
I thought about my ex-boyfriend, Dave,
and whether he'd like this trip.
But I felt a little stupid,
because it had been 11 years since we last talked.
He's now married and has three children.
And I found a very pretty little park.
I sat down on a bench and ate the sandwich I had bought.
It was very tasty.
And then something happened,
something that is hard to describe.
Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job
and all the people I knew,
a feeling came over me.
As if I recalled something,
something that I had never known and for which I had been waiting.
But I didn't know what it was.
Maybe it was something I had forgotten.
Or something I had missed my whole life.
I can only tell you
that at the same time I felt
joy and sadness.
But not a great sadness.
Because I felt alive.
Yes. Alive.
That was the moment when I fell in love with Paris
and the moment I felt that Paris had fallen in love with me.