1 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,150 - Merry Christmas! - Merry Christmas! 2 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:46,060 Penguin sighting! Man or myth? 3 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:49,440 What is he? Today's edition. Another penguin sighting. 4 00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:52,200 Another penguin sighting! Check it out! 5 00:05:52,370 --> 00:05:56,950 Penguin man living in Gotham's sewers! Read all about the latest sighting! 6 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,280 May I have your attention, Gotham City? 7 00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:07,670 It is time for tonight's lighting of the tree. 8 00:06:12,430 --> 00:06:13,920 How about that? 9 00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,150 Part man, part penguin! All horrifying! 10 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,620 Find out for only 50 cents! Come on! 11 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:41,160 Read about the possible terror beneath our feet! Check it out! 12 00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:42,920 Read about it! 13 00:06:45,550 --> 00:06:47,710 Missing link between man and bird. 14 00:06:47,810 --> 00:06:49,130 My dear boy... 15 00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:52,260 ...sometimes it's a diversion to read such rubbish. 16 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,600 Usually, it's a waste of time. 17 00:06:54,770 --> 00:06:58,220 Whatever. Today's issue! "The Penguin: Man or myth?" 18 00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:01,690 The Globe! Right here! 25 cents! 19 00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:27,970 Well, here's hoping. 20 00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:31,840 With luck, Gotham will have its first merry Christmas in years. 21 00:07:32,020 --> 00:07:34,590 I feel almost vulgar at Yuletide... 22 00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:37,190 ...mentioning the new power plant. 23 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,140 But if we're to break ground when we must, I'll need permits... 24 00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:45,030 ...variances, tax incentives. That sort of pesky nonsense. 25 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,950 Power plant? 26 00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:52,660 Studies show we've enough power to get us into the middle of the next century. 27 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:57,290 Your analysts foresee growth at 1% per annum. That's not growth... that's a mild swelling. 28 00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:00,210 Imagine... 29 00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,010 ...a Gotham City... 30 00:08:02,730 --> 00:08:06,140 ...of the future, lit up like a blanket of stars... 31 00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:08,970 ...but blinking on and off... 32 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,560 ...embarrassingly low on juice. 33 00:08:11,820 --> 00:08:13,150 Frankly... 34 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,810 ...I cringe, Mr. Mayor. 35 00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,820 Sorry, any plans must go to the usual committees... 36 00:08:19,910 --> 00:08:21,910 ...through the usual channels. 37 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,820 Um... I have a suggestion. 38 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,830 Well... 39 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,670 ...actually, really, just more like a question. 40 00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:42,300 I'm afraid we haven't properly housebroken Ms. Kyle. 41 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,140 In the plus column, though... 42 00:08:45,280 --> 00:08:47,060 ...she makes a hell of a cup of coffee. 43 00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:56,610 Dad. 44 00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:01,280 Mr. Mayor. Time to go down and bring joy to the masses. 45 00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,720 "Actually, more of a question." 46 00:09:13,810 --> 00:09:15,630 You stupid corn dog. 47 00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:18,640 Corn dog, corn dog. 48 00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:49,800 I have enough signatures from Shreck employees to warrant a recall. 49 00:09:49,980 --> 00:09:52,510 That's not a threat, just simple numbers. 50 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:56,720 Maybe. But you sure as hell don't have an issue or a candidate. 51 00:09:57,990 --> 00:10:00,140 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 52 00:10:01,070 --> 00:10:04,320 From those of us at City Hall to each and every one of you... 53 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:05,860 ...happy holidays. 54 00:10:06,660 --> 00:10:11,160 We have with us a man who needs no introduction, he's given us so much. 55 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,450 Please welcome Gotham's own Santa Claus, Max Shreck. 56 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,900 Pick up those contracts for Personnel and... 57 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,860 ...pick up the dry cleaning and paper towels... 58 00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:46,660 Darn! 59 00:10:52,590 --> 00:10:54,080 I forgot my speech. 60 00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:56,930 Remind me to take it out on what's-her-name. 61 00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:02,720 Santa Claus? 62 00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:04,260 Afraid not. 63 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,970 I'm just a poor schmo. Got lucky. 64 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:10,890 Sue me... 65 00:11:11,450 --> 00:11:13,480 ...if I want to give some back. 66 00:11:16,450 --> 00:11:19,400 I only wish I could hand out more than just... 67 00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:21,240 ...expensive baubles. 68 00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:25,200 I wish I could hand out world peace... 69 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,200 ...and unconditional love... 70 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,790 ...wrapped in a big bow. 71 00:11:33,430 --> 00:11:35,090 Oh, but you can. 72 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:37,340 Oh, but you will. 73 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:45,810 Merry Christmas. 74 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:00,700 Great idea. 75 00:12:01,340 --> 00:12:02,440 Not mine. 76 00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:57,430 What are you waiting for? The signal! 77 00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:31,930 We want the big guy! The guy who runs the show! 78 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,850 What do you want? 79 00:13:35,950 --> 00:13:37,220 Not you! 80 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,110 Shreck! 81 00:13:39,530 --> 00:13:41,530 You'll have to go through me. 82 00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:45,360 Dad, go! Save yourself! 83 00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:46,610 Dad, go! 84 00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,200 Shut up! 85 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:53,020 Take one step closer, Mr. Manbat, and I'll... 86 00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:00,100 You missed. 87 00:16:13,300 --> 00:16:14,700 The Batman. 88 00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:17,460 Or is it just "Batman"? 89 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,460 Your choice, of course. 90 00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:27,260 Well, that was... 91 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:28,930 ...very brief. 92 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,600 Just like all the men in my life. 93 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:33,770 What men? 94 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:35,590 Well... 95 00:16:36,610 --> 00:16:39,900 ...then again, there's you. But you need therapy. 96 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,470 Thanks for saving the day, Batman. The Circus Gang is back. 97 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,810 We'll see. 98 00:17:06,980 --> 00:17:10,390 They almost made off with our mover and shaker, Max Shreck. 99 00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:13,230 Where is that insufferable son of a bitch? 100 00:18:30,580 --> 00:18:33,530 I believe the word you're looking for is... 101 00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:47,460 Actually, this is all just a bad dream. 102 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,430 You're at home in bed... 103 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,510 ...heavily sedated, resting comfortably... 104 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:57,850 ...dying from the carcinogens you've personally spewed... 105 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:01,430 ...in a lifetime of profiteering. 106 00:19:01,780 --> 00:19:03,190 Tragic irony... 107 00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:05,190 ...or poetic justice? 108 00:19:05,370 --> 00:19:06,820 You tell me. 109 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:09,780 My God, it's true. 110 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:12,280 Penguin Man of the sewer. 111 00:19:16,550 --> 00:19:18,670 Odd as it may seem, Max... 112 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,380 ...you and I have something in common: 113 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:27,040 We're both perceived as monsters. 114 00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,930 But somehow... 115 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,990 ...you're a well-respected monster... 116 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,320 ...and I am, to date... 117 00:19:40,330 --> 00:19:41,570 ...not! 118 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:45,280 Frankly, I feel that's a bum rap. I'm a businessman. 119 00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:47,030 Tough, yes. 120 00:19:47,210 --> 00:19:50,620 Shrewd, okay. But that does not make me a monster. 121 00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:53,710 Don't embarrass yourself, Max! 122 00:19:54,010 --> 00:19:55,880 I know all about you. 123 00:19:56,180 --> 00:19:58,300 What you hide, I discover. 124 00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:01,510 What you put in your toilet... 125 00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:04,550 ...I place on my mantle. Get the picture? 126 00:20:05,230 --> 00:20:07,510 Is that supposed to hypnotize me? 127 00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:10,300 No, just give you a splitting headache. 128 00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:12,600 It's not working. 129 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,440 Oh, you big baby! 130 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,360 Just blanks. 131 00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:20,700 Would I go through all this trouble just to kill you? 132 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,190 No, Max. 133 00:20:22,580 --> 00:20:25,070 I have an entirely other purpose. 134 00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:27,830 I'm ready, Max. 135 00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,670 I've been down here too long. 136 00:20:31,050 --> 00:20:33,340 It's time for me to ascend... 137 00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:35,760 ...to re-emerge... 138 00:20:37,430 --> 00:20:38,970 ...with your help... 139 00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,720 ...your know-how... 140 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,430 ...your savvy. 141 00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:45,940 I wasn't born in the sewer, you know. 142 00:20:47,070 --> 00:20:48,600 I come from... 143 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,610 ...like you. 144 00:20:50,910 --> 00:20:53,470 And, like you, I want some respect! 145 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:56,810 A recognition of my basic humanity. 146 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,070 But most of all... 147 00:21:00,090 --> 00:21:02,450 ...I want to find out who I am... 148 00:21:02,630 --> 00:21:04,620 ...by finding my parents... 149 00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:06,920 ...learning my human name. 150 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,750 Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted! 151 00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:14,430 And... 152 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,350 ...exactly why am I going to help you? 153 00:21:19,150 --> 00:21:20,310 Well... 154 00:21:24,990 --> 00:21:26,440 Let's start. 155 00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:36,990 Let's see what we have in here. 156 00:21:41,180 --> 00:21:43,250 A batch of toxic waste... 157 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,950 ...from your clean textile plant! 158 00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:51,090 There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back! 159 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,470 It could have come from anywhere. 160 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:58,390 What about the documents that prove you own half of the firetraps in Gotham City? 161 00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:00,810 If there were such documents... 162 00:22:00,990 --> 00:22:02,770 ...that's not an admission... 163 00:22:02,870 --> 00:22:04,900 ...they would've been shredded. 164 00:22:05,790 --> 00:22:07,150 Good idea. 165 00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:12,450 A lot of tape and a little patience make all the difference. 166 00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:16,790 By the way... 167 00:22:17,300 --> 00:22:19,700 ...how's Fred Atkins, your old partner? 168 00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:21,130 Fred? 169 00:22:22,220 --> 00:22:23,880 Fred's actually... 170 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,590 I believe he's on an extended vacation. He's good. 171 00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,310 Good. 172 00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:37,190 Hiya, Max. Remember me? I'm Fred's hand! 173 00:22:38,490 --> 00:22:41,060 Want to greet any other body parts? 174 00:22:41,410 --> 00:22:43,070 Remember, Max... 175 00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:45,610 ...you flush it, I flaunt it. 176 00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:49,650 You know what, Mr. Penguin, sir? 177 00:22:55,010 --> 00:22:56,590 I think, perhaps... 178 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,170 ...I could help orchestrate a "Welcome Home" scenario for you. 179 00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:03,720 Once we're both back home, perhaps we could help each other. 180 00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:07,470 You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck. 181 00:23:15,370 --> 00:23:17,030 Honey, I'm home! 182 00:23:19,210 --> 00:23:21,570 Oh, I forgot. I'm not married. 183 00:23:32,140 --> 00:23:33,550 Miss Kitty. 184 00:23:35,060 --> 00:23:38,510 Back from more sexual escapades you refuse to share? 185 00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:42,720 Not that I'd ever pry. 186 00:23:44,650 --> 00:23:46,060 Drink your dinner. 187 00:23:52,660 --> 00:23:53,820 What? 188 00:23:55,330 --> 00:23:57,660 How can anyone be so pathetic? 189 00:23:59,170 --> 00:24:02,250 Yes, to you I seem pathetic, but I'm a working girl. 190 00:24:02,420 --> 00:24:06,250 Must pay the rent. Maybe if you chipped in instead of stepping out. 191 00:24:08,100 --> 00:24:11,590 Selina, dear, it's your mother. Just calling to say hello. 192 00:24:11,770 --> 00:24:13,090 Yeah, but... 193 00:24:13,270 --> 00:24:16,600 But I'm disappointed you're not coming home for Christmas. 194 00:24:16,690 --> 00:24:20,180 I want to discuss why you insist on languishing in Gotham City... 195 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,270 ...as some lowly secretary. 196 00:24:22,450 --> 00:24:24,100 Lowly assistant. 197 00:24:26,030 --> 00:24:29,190 Selina, about that Christmas getaway we planned... 198 00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:35,120 I'll be going alone. Dr. Shaw says I need to be my own person, not an appendage. 199 00:24:39,550 --> 00:24:41,120 Some appendage! 200 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:50,380 The party never stops on Selina Kyle's answering machine. 201 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,560 I should've let him win that last racquetball game. 202 00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:56,890 Hello... 203 00:24:57,070 --> 00:24:58,560 ...Selina Kyle. 204 00:24:58,740 --> 00:25:02,150 We're calling to tell you about exciting, new Gotham Lady perfume. 205 00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:06,820 It makes women feel like women... and the men have no complaints either. 206 00:25:09,170 --> 00:25:13,740 This is yourself reminding you to come all the way back to the office... 207 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:18,750 ...if you forgot the Bruce Wayne file... - You stupid corn dog! 208 00:25:38,410 --> 00:25:39,860 Working late? 209 00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:46,320 I'm just boning up for your Bruce Wayne meeting in the morning. 210 00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:50,540 I pulled all the files on the proposed power plant... 211 00:25:53,050 --> 00:25:57,300 ...and Mr. Wayne's hoped-for investment. I even opened the protected files... 212 00:25:58,560 --> 00:25:59,920 How industrious! 213 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,930 How did you open the protected files? 214 00:26:04,940 --> 00:26:06,100 May I ask? 215 00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:15,980 I figured your password was "Geraldo," your Chihuahua, and it was. 216 00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:28,040 This is all very interesting, though a bit on the technical side... 217 00:26:30,300 --> 00:26:33,920 ...about how the power plant is a power plant in name only... 218 00:26:34,270 --> 00:26:37,590 ...since, in fact, it's going to be a big, giant... 219 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:40,260 ...big, giant... capacitor. 220 00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:46,940 And, instead of generating power, it'll be sucking power from... 221 00:26:47,820 --> 00:26:49,270 ...Gotham City... 222 00:26:50,450 --> 00:26:51,980 ...and storing it... 223 00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:54,280 ...stockpiling it... 224 00:26:54,660 --> 00:26:57,620 ...which is a very novel approach, I'd say. 225 00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:02,120 Who'd you say this to? 226 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:06,790 Nobody. 227 00:27:13,140 --> 00:27:15,630 What did curiosity do to the cat? 228 00:27:17,860 --> 00:27:19,270 I'm no cat. 229 00:27:20,190 --> 00:27:22,020 I'm just an assistant. 230 00:27:22,490 --> 00:27:23,650 A secretary. 231 00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,020 And a very good one. 232 00:27:26,870 --> 00:27:28,140 Too good? 233 00:27:29,370 --> 00:27:30,440 Listen... 234 00:27:30,540 --> 00:27:32,700 ...it's our secret. Honest. 235 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,830 How can you be so mean to someone so meaningless? 236 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,490 This power plant... 237 00:27:38,010 --> 00:27:40,710 ...is my legacy. It's what I leave behind. 238 00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:42,160 For Chip. 239 00:27:42,510 --> 00:27:44,630 Nothing must prevent that. 240 00:27:48,180 --> 00:27:52,130 Go ahead. Intimidate me. Bully me, if it makes you feel big. 241 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:54,560 It's not like you can kill me! 242 00:27:54,980 --> 00:27:57,350 Actually, it's a lot like that. 243 00:28:15,260 --> 00:28:18,000 For a second, you really frightened me. 244 00:28:28,690 --> 00:28:29,850 Really? 245 00:29:45,570 --> 00:29:46,890 Honey, I'm home! 246 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,230 Oh, I forgot. I'm not married. 247 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,950 Selina, this is your mother. Call me. 248 00:30:32,210 --> 00:30:36,120 Selina, this is your mother. Why haven't you called me back? 249 00:30:36,750 --> 00:30:38,540 Hello, Selina Kyle. 250 00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:42,830 We're just calling to make sure you've tried Gotham Lady perfume. 251 00:30:42,930 --> 00:30:47,170 One whiff of this and your boss will ask you to stay after work... 252 00:30:47,390 --> 00:30:50,090 ...for a candlelight staff meeting for two. 253 00:30:50,270 --> 00:30:54,260 Gotham Lady perfume. Exclusively at Shreck's department store. 254 00:33:38,630 --> 00:33:41,920 I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel... 255 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,500 ...so much yummier. 256 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,740 Ladies and gentlemen: 257 00:34:06,580 --> 00:34:11,490 I stand before you again to denounce the urban chaos we live with in our city. 258 00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:14,160 It's got to stop. 259 00:34:14,340 --> 00:34:17,370 It's going to stop! Our community is coming apart... 260 00:34:17,640 --> 00:34:20,920 ...in a season when it should be coming together. 261 00:34:21,010 --> 00:34:24,590 I don't care what the cynics may say. This is the Christmas season... 262 00:34:24,690 --> 00:34:26,340 ...and should be a healing time. 263 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,000 I say that not only as an official... 264 00:34:29,860 --> 00:34:32,020 ...but as a husband and a father. 265 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:34,930 Last night's violence won't happen again. 266 00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:41,360 I'm not good at speeches, so I'll just say, "Thanks. " 267 00:34:50,130 --> 00:34:52,420 It's the hideous Penguin Man. 268 00:34:52,970 --> 00:34:55,590 Take the baby. Just don't hurt me, please! 269 00:35:48,530 --> 00:35:52,610 This was the remarkable scene only minutes ago in Gotham Plaza. 270 00:35:52,790 --> 00:35:56,280 The mysterious Penguin saving the life of the mayor's baby... 271 00:35:56,460 --> 00:36:00,200 ...and announcing his presence. - All I want in return... 272 00:36:01,090 --> 00:36:02,710 ...is a chance... 273 00:36:03,050 --> 00:36:05,170 ...to find my mom and dad. 274 00:36:06,930 --> 00:36:09,550 A chance to find out who they are... 275 00:36:10,770 --> 00:36:12,220 ...and thusly... 276 00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:14,010 ...who I am. 277 00:36:14,770 --> 00:36:16,100 And then... 278 00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:18,260 ...with my parents... 279 00:36:18,570 --> 00:36:20,730 ...try to understand... why. 280 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,770 Why they did what I guess they felt they had to do... 281 00:36:27,950 --> 00:36:29,610 ...to a child... 282 00:36:30,290 --> 00:36:31,910 ...who was born... 283 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,870 ...a little different. 284 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:39,860 A child... 285 00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:42,960 ...who spent his first Christmas... 286 00:36:43,930 --> 00:36:45,760 ...and many since... 287 00:36:47,310 --> 00:36:48,630 ...in a sewer. 288 00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:51,050 Mr. Wayne? Something wrong? 289 00:36:54,650 --> 00:36:55,810 His parents. 290 00:36:55,990 --> 00:36:58,310 This scene, direct from Gotham Plaza. 291 00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:01,480 I hope he finds them. 292 00:37:02,490 --> 00:37:06,440 Here he is, standing alongside Gotham's leading citizen, Max Shreck. 293 00:37:06,620 --> 00:37:09,490 How about a statement? People want to know. 294 00:37:20,350 --> 00:37:23,510 - Penguin's not to be disturbed! - It's a public place! 295 00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,180 - Walk. Now. Move. - Freedom of the press! 296 00:37:26,270 --> 00:37:27,800 Wait a minute. 297 00:37:28,940 --> 00:37:32,270 What about the freedom to rediscover your roots... 298 00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,770 ...with dignity and privacy? 299 00:37:34,950 --> 00:37:37,270 Is the Penguin a personal friend? 300 00:37:37,450 --> 00:37:41,110 He's a personal friend of the whole city, so have a heart. 301 00:37:41,370 --> 00:37:44,160 Give the Constitution a rest. It's Christmas. 302 00:38:23,670 --> 00:38:27,500 "Red Triangle Circus put on a swell show with fierce lions. 303 00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:34,090 "Circus returns for a two-week... 304 00:38:34,350 --> 00:38:35,840 "Kids will love..." 305 00:38:36,350 --> 00:38:37,430 Thanks. 306 00:38:41,730 --> 00:38:42,760 It's cold! 307 00:38:42,860 --> 00:38:44,270 It's vichyssoise. 308 00:38:45,450 --> 00:38:47,190 It's supposed to be cold. 309 00:38:49,740 --> 00:38:53,030 "Circus is back with a freak show, may not be suitable for kids... 310 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,200 "...featuring a poodle lady... 311 00:38:55,460 --> 00:38:57,450 "...the world's fattest man... 312 00:38:57,710 --> 00:38:59,830 "...and Aquatic Bird Boy." 313 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,500 Why are you determined to prove... 314 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:06,630 ...that this Penguin is not what he seems? 315 00:39:07,050 --> 00:39:10,130 Must you be the only lonely "man-beast" in town? 316 00:39:10,390 --> 00:39:12,470 "The circus folded its tents yesterday... 317 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,760 "...after reports of missing children in several towns. 318 00:39:15,980 --> 00:39:18,970 "Police have closed down the Red Triangle fairgrounds. 319 00:39:19,070 --> 00:39:22,760 "However, at least one freak-show performer vanished before... 320 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,400 "...he could be questioned." 321 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,150 I suppose you feel better now. 322 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:32,990 No. 323 00:39:34,290 --> 00:39:36,290 Actually, I feel worse. 324 00:39:54,820 --> 00:39:56,310 Why're you still out? 325 00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:00,310 Are you concerned about that strange, heroic Penguin person? 326 00:40:02,030 --> 00:40:04,400 I think he knows who his parents are. 327 00:40:06,250 --> 00:40:08,030 There's something else. 328 00:42:04,300 --> 00:42:05,540 Mr. Penguin... 329 00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:08,250 A penguin is a bird that cannot fly! 330 00:42:09,970 --> 00:42:11,380 I am a man! 331 00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,090 I have a name! 332 00:42:18,070 --> 00:42:19,770 Oswald Cobblepot! 333 00:42:21,650 --> 00:42:24,520 You'll never be able to settle with them? 334 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,150 True. 335 00:42:30,250 --> 00:42:32,490 I was their "Number-One" son... 336 00:42:32,830 --> 00:42:35,400 ...and they treated me like number two. 337 00:42:36,340 --> 00:42:38,740 But it's human nature to fear... 338 00:42:40,260 --> 00:42:41,670 ...the unusual. 339 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,050 Perhaps... 340 00:42:44,510 --> 00:42:46,050 ...when I held my... 341 00:42:46,180 --> 00:42:48,180 ...Tiffany baby rattle... 342 00:42:49,190 --> 00:42:51,260 ...with a shiny flipper... 343 00:42:51,690 --> 00:42:54,260 ...instead of five chubby digits... 344 00:42:55,780 --> 00:42:57,440 ...they freaked. 345 00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:02,980 But I forgive them. 346 00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:07,700 "Penguin forgives parents! 'I'm at peace with myself and the world! 347 00:43:07,790 --> 00:43:10,360 "'Don't need hands as long as you got heart. 348 00:43:10,500 --> 00:43:13,700 "'My heart is filled with love. I feel five feet tall."' 349 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,740 - He's like a frog that became a prince. - No, he's more like a penguin. 350 00:43:23,390 --> 00:43:25,720 Now, now, pretty little thing. 351 00:43:26,150 --> 00:43:27,680 Nice and easy. 352 00:43:31,990 --> 00:43:36,730 I love a big, strong man who's not afraid to show it with someone half his size. 353 00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:41,530 Be gentle, it's my first time. 354 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,210 Tic-tac-toe. 355 00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,920 You make it easy, don't you? 356 00:43:58,430 --> 00:44:01,180 Always waiting for some Batman to save you. 357 00:44:04,070 --> 00:44:05,720 I am Catwoman... 358 00:44:06,860 --> 00:44:08,520 ...hear me roar. 359 00:44:22,880 --> 00:44:26,960 I'd offer you coffee, but my assistant is using her vacation time. 360 00:44:27,090 --> 00:44:31,880 Good time. Everyone but the bandits'll be slacking off till after the New Year. 361 00:44:32,470 --> 00:44:34,630 I'm not sure I like the inference. 362 00:44:34,730 --> 00:44:36,630 I didn't realize I made one. 363 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:45,480 I'm pushing this power plant now because it'll cost more later. 364 00:44:46,070 --> 00:44:48,310 A million saved is a million earned. 365 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:51,900 I commissioned this report. Take a look at it. 366 00:44:54,330 --> 00:44:57,990 Gotham City has a power surplus. I'm sure you know that. 367 00:44:58,590 --> 00:45:00,160 My question is: 368 00:45:01,090 --> 00:45:02,250 What's your angle? 369 00:45:02,340 --> 00:45:04,960 "Power surplus?" Bruce, shame on you! 370 00:45:05,850 --> 00:45:09,130 No such thing. One can never have too much power. 371 00:45:09,430 --> 00:45:12,510 If my life has a meaning, that's the meaning. 372 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:18,470 I'll fight you. I've already spoken to the mayor and we agree. 373 00:45:18,650 --> 00:45:20,140 Mayors come and go. 374 00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:22,230 Blue bloods tire easily. 375 00:45:22,530 --> 00:45:25,010 Can you go 15 rounds with Muhammad Shreck? 376 00:45:25,240 --> 00:45:27,230 I guess we'll find out. 377 00:45:27,540 --> 00:45:30,570 Of course, I don't have a crime boss like Cobblepot in my corner. 378 00:45:30,670 --> 00:45:33,030 "Crime boss?" Shows what you know... 379 00:45:33,170 --> 00:45:35,990 ..."Mr. To-The-Manor-Born- With-A-Silver-Spoon." 380 00:45:36,090 --> 00:45:38,370 Oswald is Gotham's new golden boy. 381 00:45:38,630 --> 00:45:42,290 If his parents hadn't 86'ed him, you'd have been bunkies at prep school. 382 00:45:42,390 --> 00:45:46,420 He controls the Red Triangle Gang. I can't prove it yet, but we both... 383 00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:49,270 I'll not stand for mud-slinging here. 384 00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:52,810 If my assistant was here, she'd have already escorted you out... 385 00:45:52,900 --> 00:45:54,430 Anywhere he wants. 386 00:45:54,690 --> 00:45:57,260 Preferably some nightspot grotto... 387 00:45:58,610 --> 00:45:59,610 ...or... 388 00:46:00,070 --> 00:46:01,900 ...secluded hideaway. 389 00:46:03,910 --> 00:46:05,280 Nice suit. 390 00:46:11,590 --> 00:46:15,790 That's my name, don't wear it out or I'll make you buy me a new one. 391 00:46:20,100 --> 00:46:21,760 This is Bruce... 392 00:46:22,140 --> 00:46:23,220 ...Wayne. 393 00:46:24,020 --> 00:46:25,120 We've met. 394 00:46:25,650 --> 00:46:26,640 Have we? 395 00:46:26,810 --> 00:46:29,970 No, I'm sorry. I mistook me for somebody else. 396 00:46:31,490 --> 00:46:33,190 You mean, "mistook me." 397 00:46:33,950 --> 00:46:35,940 Isn't that what I said? 398 00:46:36,620 --> 00:46:38,230 I don't think so. 399 00:46:39,620 --> 00:46:40,860 What happened? 400 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,070 Did you hurt yourself... on that ski slope? 401 00:46:46,630 --> 00:46:49,960 Is that why you cut short your vacation? Came back? 402 00:46:53,260 --> 00:46:54,710 It's a blur. 403 00:46:56,180 --> 00:47:00,760 Not complete amnesia. I remember Sister Mary Margaret puking in church... 404 00:47:01,690 --> 00:47:04,170 ...and Betsy saying it was morning sickness. 405 00:47:04,270 --> 00:47:07,430 And the time I forgot to wear my underpants to school... 406 00:47:07,530 --> 00:47:11,360 ...and the name of the boy who noticed was Ricky Friedburg. 407 00:47:12,370 --> 00:47:13,900 He's dead now. 408 00:47:14,290 --> 00:47:15,780 But last night... 409 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:17,700 ...complete blur. 410 00:47:19,500 --> 00:47:21,410 Couldn't you just die? 411 00:47:25,550 --> 00:47:26,870 Please... 412 00:47:28,050 --> 00:47:29,670 ...show out Mr. Wayne. 413 00:47:30,010 --> 00:47:31,380 With pleasure. 414 00:47:33,890 --> 00:47:35,760 Your coat, Mr. Wayne. 415 00:47:49,660 --> 00:47:52,900 You don't seem like the type who does business with Shreck. 416 00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,740 No. You don't seem like the type to take orders from him. 417 00:47:55,830 --> 00:47:57,240 Well, that's a... 418 00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,040 ...long story. 419 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,960 I could free up some time. 420 00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:05,750 - I'm listed. - I'm tempted. 421 00:48:06,010 --> 00:48:07,200 I'm working. 422 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:09,760 I'm leaving. 423 00:48:10,270 --> 00:48:12,260 You buy that blurry business? 424 00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:13,510 Women. 425 00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:15,800 Nothing surprises me... 426 00:48:16,360 --> 00:48:18,180 ...except your late mother. 427 00:48:18,780 --> 00:48:21,600 Who'd have thought Selina had a brain to damage? 428 00:48:21,780 --> 00:48:23,230 Bottom line? 429 00:48:23,620 --> 00:48:27,610 She tries to blackmail me, I'll drop her out of a higher window. 430 00:48:27,790 --> 00:48:28,950 Meantime... 431 00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,410 ...l've got badder fish to fry. 432 00:48:42,970 --> 00:48:44,300 Oswald... 433 00:48:44,890 --> 00:48:46,220 ...it's Max. 434 00:48:59,570 --> 00:49:00,980 You're home? 435 00:49:08,420 --> 00:49:09,740 How've you been? 436 00:49:11,420 --> 00:49:13,290 Your extended family? 437 00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,370 Good to have a family. 438 00:49:17,180 --> 00:49:19,340 I'd rather not be disturbed now. 439 00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:22,590 Come on downstairs, Oswald. I have a surprise. 440 00:49:22,770 --> 00:49:24,760 I don't like surprises. 441 00:49:41,790 --> 00:49:42,780 Come on. 442 00:49:55,810 --> 00:49:57,050 Don't peek. 443 00:49:59,230 --> 00:50:00,630 You'll spoil it. 444 00:50:24,010 --> 00:50:27,170 Adulation is a cross to bear. God knows I know. 445 00:50:28,340 --> 00:50:32,040 But someone's got to supplant our standing in the way of progress, Mayor. 446 00:50:32,140 --> 00:50:35,680 And don't deny it, Mr. Cobblepot, you've got the magic. 447 00:50:35,850 --> 00:50:39,350 Your charisma's bigger than both of us. Come on down. 448 00:50:41,530 --> 00:50:42,710 Mayor? 449 00:50:43,860 --> 00:50:45,050 Mayor. 450 00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:50,280 Elections happen in November. It's late December. 451 00:50:50,450 --> 00:50:51,780 Don't worry. 452 00:50:51,950 --> 00:50:55,530 I want you to meet Jen and Josh, my image consultants. 453 00:50:57,130 --> 00:50:58,280 Here. 454 00:50:58,460 --> 00:51:00,450 Reclaim your birthright. 455 00:51:03,090 --> 00:51:04,360 I'm Jen. 456 00:51:07,930 --> 00:51:12,430 Okay, let's see. What I'd like to do first is put these gloves on you. 457 00:51:12,770 --> 00:51:15,760 Our research tells us that voters like fingers. 458 00:51:15,940 --> 00:51:18,510 So if we were to just lose this... 459 00:51:20,110 --> 00:51:22,060 We'll do it another time. 460 00:51:23,780 --> 00:51:27,190 Not a lot of reflective surfaces in the sewer, huh? 461 00:51:38,630 --> 00:51:40,540 Still, it could be worse. 462 00:51:41,300 --> 00:51:43,670 My nose could be gushing blood. 463 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,510 What do you mean by that? 464 00:51:54,490 --> 00:51:56,520 Everybody, back to work! 465 00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:58,810 Let's make... 466 00:51:59,490 --> 00:52:00,900 ...a mayor! 467 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:09,490 You're right, we missed the regular election... 468 00:52:09,670 --> 00:52:12,410 ...but elected officials can be recalled, impeached... 469 00:52:12,510 --> 00:52:15,180 ...given the boot. Look at Nixon, Agnew. 470 00:52:15,340 --> 00:52:16,880 Then think of you... 471 00:52:17,010 --> 00:52:19,750 ...Oswald Cobblepot, filling the void. 472 00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:22,300 I'd like to fill her void. 473 00:52:24,850 --> 00:52:29,100 We'll need signatures to overturn the ballot. I can supply those. 474 00:52:29,690 --> 00:52:33,600 - Teach her my French flipper trick. - We need one more thing. 475 00:52:35,990 --> 00:52:37,400 A platform? 476 00:52:38,870 --> 00:52:43,280 Stop global warming. Start global cooling. Make the world an icebox. 477 00:52:43,710 --> 00:52:48,000 I like it. But to get the mayor recalled, we must have a catalyst. 478 00:52:48,550 --> 00:52:50,870 "You're doing great, Mayor Cobblepot." 479 00:52:51,510 --> 00:52:54,290 "Your table is ready, Mayor Cobblepot." 480 00:52:55,010 --> 00:52:57,760 "I need you, Oswald. I need you now! " 481 00:52:59,690 --> 00:53:02,680 "That's the biggest parasol I've ever seen." 482 00:53:04,190 --> 00:53:08,440 Soon an incident like the Gulf of Tonkin, or the Reichstag fire... 483 00:53:15,910 --> 00:53:18,400 You want my old friends up there... 484 00:53:18,580 --> 00:53:21,250 ...to drive the mayor into a foaming frenzy? 485 00:53:21,420 --> 00:53:23,290 - Exactly. - Sounds fun. 486 00:53:24,090 --> 00:53:25,160 But... 487 00:53:26,010 --> 00:53:28,630 ...I mustn't get sidetracked, Maxie. 488 00:53:29,100 --> 00:53:31,250 I have my own things to tend to. 489 00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:35,090 "Sidetracked?" This is your chance to fulfill your destiny... 490 00:53:35,270 --> 00:53:37,830 ...that your parents carelessly discarded. 491 00:53:41,780 --> 00:53:43,850 Reclaim my birthright, you mean? 492 00:53:44,030 --> 00:53:47,020 Imagine, as mayor, you have the ear of the media... 493 00:53:47,280 --> 00:53:50,150 ...access to the captains of industry... 494 00:53:50,700 --> 00:53:52,610 ...unlimited poontang. 495 00:53:56,210 --> 00:53:58,610 You drive a hard bargain, Maxie. 496 00:53:59,960 --> 00:54:01,790 All right, I'll be mayor. 497 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:07,500 Burn, baby, burn! 498 00:56:49,790 --> 00:56:51,860 - Who is she? - What is she? 499 00:56:52,290 --> 00:56:55,240 I don't know whether to open fire or fall in love. 500 00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:57,450 You poor guys. 501 00:56:57,630 --> 00:57:00,910 Always confusing your pistols with your privates. 502 00:57:03,260 --> 00:57:06,000 Don't hurt us. Our take-home's less than $300. 503 00:57:06,100 --> 00:57:08,130 You're overpaid. Hit the road. 504 00:57:26,500 --> 00:57:28,320 Go ahead and hit me. 505 00:58:06,710 --> 00:58:08,410 Admiring your handiwork? 506 00:58:10,670 --> 00:58:12,660 Touring the riot scene. 507 00:58:14,180 --> 00:58:16,710 Gravely assessing the devastation. 508 00:58:18,890 --> 00:58:20,880 "Upstanding-Mayor" stuff. 509 00:58:25,100 --> 00:58:26,680 You're not the mayor. 510 00:58:28,570 --> 00:58:30,100 Things change. 511 00:58:32,110 --> 00:58:33,520 What do you want? 512 00:58:34,410 --> 00:58:36,230 The direct approach. 513 00:58:36,580 --> 00:58:39,140 I admire that in a man with a mask. 514 00:58:44,210 --> 00:58:46,910 You don't really think you'll win, do you? 515 00:58:49,760 --> 00:58:51,290 Things change. 516 00:59:16,460 --> 00:59:18,740 I saw her first. Got to fly. 517 01:00:08,270 --> 01:00:10,510 How could you? I'm a woman! 518 01:00:11,270 --> 01:00:12,510 I'm sorry. 519 01:00:26,540 --> 01:00:30,450 As I was saying, I'm a woman and can't be taken for granted. 520 01:00:32,130 --> 01:00:34,370 Life's a bitch, now so am I. 521 01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:52,560 Who are you? 522 01:00:53,230 --> 01:00:55,190 Who's the man behind the bat? 523 01:00:57,240 --> 01:00:59,310 Maybe you can help me find... 524 01:00:59,830 --> 01:01:01,230 ...the woman... 525 01:01:01,910 --> 01:01:03,490 ...behind the cat. 526 01:01:06,250 --> 01:01:08,030 No, that's not you. 527 01:01:11,670 --> 01:01:13,000 There you are. 528 01:01:29,030 --> 01:01:30,930 Saved by Kitty Litter. 529 01:01:34,950 --> 01:01:36,220 Bastard! 530 01:01:53,550 --> 01:01:54,630 Alfred... 531 01:01:55,390 --> 01:01:57,960 ...bring me some antiseptic ointment. 532 01:01:58,140 --> 01:02:00,300 Coming. Are you in pain, sir? 533 01:02:03,150 --> 01:02:04,470 Not really. 534 01:02:26,840 --> 01:02:29,460 I may have saved the mayor's baby... 535 01:02:31,100 --> 01:02:33,580 ...but I refuse to save a mayor... 536 01:02:33,770 --> 01:02:36,510 ...who stood by, helpless as a baby... 537 01:02:36,940 --> 01:02:39,890 ...while Gotham was ravaged by a disease... 538 01:02:40,980 --> 01:02:44,270 ...that turned Eagle Scouts into crazed clowns... 539 01:02:45,780 --> 01:02:48,520 ...and happy homemakers into catwomen. 540 01:02:49,700 --> 01:02:50,810 Thank you. 541 01:02:54,000 --> 01:02:58,330 Oswald Cobblepot, the mystery man-beast, made his bid to run Gotham. 542 01:03:01,340 --> 01:03:05,840 Mr. Cobblepot, you are the coolest role model a young person could have. 543 01:03:06,470 --> 01:03:08,950 And you're the hottest young person... 544 01:03:09,140 --> 01:03:11,300 ...a role model could have. 545 01:03:13,810 --> 01:03:14,840 Here. 546 01:03:15,860 --> 01:03:17,390 Wear a button. 547 01:03:18,860 --> 01:03:21,020 Let me just get it on here. 548 01:03:25,660 --> 01:03:26,990 Thank you. 549 01:03:31,840 --> 01:03:36,330 This mayor stuff is not about power, it's about reaching out to people... 550 01:03:36,510 --> 01:03:38,580 ...touching people, groping people. 551 01:03:38,680 --> 01:03:40,590 - Penguin... - My name is not Penguin! 552 01:03:40,680 --> 01:03:42,590 It's Oswald Cobblepot. 553 01:03:43,220 --> 01:03:46,090 Oswald, there's somebody here to see you. 554 01:03:54,400 --> 01:03:57,070 Just the pussy I've been looking for. 555 01:04:01,870 --> 01:04:03,700 It's chilly in here. 556 01:04:04,870 --> 01:04:06,200 I'll warm you. 557 01:04:06,580 --> 01:04:08,080 Down, Oswald. 558 01:04:10,420 --> 01:04:11,870 We need to talk. 559 01:04:12,050 --> 01:04:13,410 You see... 560 01:04:13,590 --> 01:04:16,330 ...you and I have something in common. 561 01:04:16,600 --> 01:04:18,250 Sounds familiar. 562 01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:20,840 Appetite for destruction? 563 01:04:21,060 --> 01:04:23,380 Contempt for the czars of fashion? 564 01:04:23,730 --> 01:04:25,550 Wait, don't tell me. 565 01:04:25,770 --> 01:04:27,680 Naked sexual charisma? 566 01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:30,480 Batman. 567 01:04:31,610 --> 01:04:33,860 The thorn in both our sides. 568 01:04:34,570 --> 01:04:36,610 The fly in our ointment. 569 01:04:37,240 --> 01:04:38,570 Ointment? 570 01:04:39,080 --> 01:04:41,450 I've got scented and unscented. 571 01:04:41,960 --> 01:04:43,740 I'll come back later. 572 01:04:44,250 --> 01:04:48,110 Perchance, are you a registered voter? I'm a mayoral prospect. 573 01:04:48,300 --> 01:04:50,670 I have but one pet cause today: 574 01:04:51,640 --> 01:04:53,090 Ban the Bat. 575 01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:57,670 Oh, him again. No bother. He's already history. Check it out. 576 01:04:58,390 --> 01:05:02,810 We'll disassemble his Batmobile and turn it into an H-bomb on wheels. 577 01:05:06,320 --> 01:05:08,800 He'd have even more power as a martyr. 578 01:05:09,070 --> 01:05:13,530 To destroy Batman, we must first turn him into what he hates the most. 579 01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:15,570 Namely, us. 580 01:05:17,500 --> 01:05:18,820 Frame him? 581 01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:22,160 Not even in office yet and already an enemies list. 582 01:05:24,010 --> 01:05:26,620 Those names are not for prying eyes. 583 01:05:28,510 --> 01:05:31,300 Why should I trust some catbroad anyway? 584 01:05:32,520 --> 01:05:36,680 Maybe you're a screwed-up sorority chick getting back at her daddy... 585 01:05:36,860 --> 01:05:40,390 ...for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet-sixteen. 586 01:05:57,630 --> 01:05:59,080 Nice birdie. 587 01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:15,890 Nice kitty. 588 01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:17,810 Nice kitty. 589 01:06:24,660 --> 01:06:26,650 Batman napalmed my arm. 590 01:06:27,250 --> 01:06:31,410 He knocked me off a building just when I started to feel good about myself. 591 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:34,660 I want to play an integral part in his degradation. 592 01:06:38,840 --> 01:06:40,590 A plan is forming. 593 01:06:48,610 --> 01:06:49,970 I want in. 594 01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:55,520 The thought of busting Batman makes me feel all... 595 01:06:57,620 --> 01:06:58,690 ...dirty. 596 01:07:02,790 --> 01:07:05,860 Maybe I'll just give myself a bath right here. 597 01:07:16,760 --> 01:07:18,630 I challenge the mayor... 598 01:07:18,810 --> 01:07:22,630 ...to re-light the Christmas tree in Gotham Plaza tomorrow night. 599 01:07:23,810 --> 01:07:28,520 Sir, shall we change the channel to a program with some dignity and class? 600 01:07:29,150 --> 01:07:31,390 The Love Connection perhaps? 601 01:07:33,820 --> 01:07:36,020 ...not that I have any faith in the mayor. 602 01:07:36,120 --> 01:07:37,990 But I hope and pray... 603 01:07:38,330 --> 01:07:39,780 ...that Batman... 604 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,780 ...will be present to preserve the peace. 605 01:07:44,130 --> 01:07:45,290 Subtle. 606 01:07:48,840 --> 01:07:50,790 Why are you doing this? 607 01:07:53,010 --> 01:07:54,170 Selina? 608 01:07:56,350 --> 01:07:58,680 Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. 609 01:07:58,850 --> 01:08:01,520 Scare me? I was just scaring myself. 610 01:08:02,360 --> 01:08:04,350 I don't see how, but... 611 01:08:04,650 --> 01:08:07,940 It's nice to see you in the real world, away from Shreck. 612 01:08:09,490 --> 01:08:11,190 It's nice to be here. 613 01:08:14,540 --> 01:08:15,990 Are you all right? 614 01:08:18,000 --> 01:08:21,120 You look like you have the holiday blues or something. 615 01:08:24,010 --> 01:08:26,080 Boy, the news these days. 616 01:08:27,050 --> 01:08:28,040 Weird! 617 01:08:29,810 --> 01:08:32,920 I heard on TV that Catwoman weighs 140 pounds. 618 01:08:35,060 --> 01:08:37,220 How do these hacks sleep at night? 619 01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,180 It's not even accurate. "Batman blows it"? 620 01:08:40,530 --> 01:08:43,560 He probably saved millions in property damage alone. 621 01:08:44,860 --> 01:08:48,530 You're not going to the re-lighting of the tree, are you? 622 01:08:48,740 --> 01:08:51,070 I wouldn't be caught dead there. 623 01:08:52,250 --> 01:08:55,530 It's going to be a hot time in the cold town tonight. 624 01:08:57,590 --> 01:09:00,370 You got kind of a dark side, don't you? 625 01:09:01,050 --> 01:09:02,580 No darker than yours. 626 01:09:06,770 --> 01:09:10,050 Why don't you come over and we can watch it on TV? 627 01:09:10,440 --> 01:09:12,590 The tree-lighting ceremony. 628 01:09:12,900 --> 01:09:15,770 I can't. I have to be somewhere tonight. 629 01:09:16,610 --> 01:09:19,060 How about coming for dinner at five? 630 01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:20,560 Let's say six? 631 01:09:21,740 --> 01:09:22,520 Five. 632 01:09:22,620 --> 01:09:24,070 Five. You and me. 633 01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:34,870 The tree lights up and then I push the button. 634 01:09:35,210 --> 01:09:36,370 Wait, wait. 635 01:09:36,550 --> 01:09:39,500 I push the button, then the tree lights up. 636 01:09:41,810 --> 01:09:43,260 Who are you? 637 01:09:43,810 --> 01:09:45,300 Talent scout. 638 01:09:45,980 --> 01:09:47,250 Come in. 639 01:09:47,810 --> 01:09:50,890 I don't just light trees. I'm an actress as well. 640 01:09:53,320 --> 01:09:56,230 What is that thing? A camera or something? 641 01:09:56,910 --> 01:09:58,230 Say, "Cheese! " 642 01:09:59,990 --> 01:10:00,980 Cheese. 643 01:10:12,670 --> 01:10:13,920 Thanks, Alfred. 644 01:10:15,850 --> 01:10:18,090 I'm sure he's wonderful company... 645 01:10:18,260 --> 01:10:22,010 ...but doesn't the "gold-plated-bachelor" bit get a little stale? 646 01:10:23,270 --> 01:10:26,600 A lot like the "lonely-secretary" syndrome, I guess. 647 01:10:27,190 --> 01:10:29,020 Executive Assistant. 648 01:10:29,280 --> 01:10:30,270 Sorry. 649 01:10:33,620 --> 01:10:34,940 Secretary. 650 01:10:39,460 --> 01:10:41,030 Any girlfriend? 651 01:10:43,880 --> 01:10:45,040 Sure. 652 01:10:46,300 --> 01:10:48,330 You mean, as in serious? 653 01:10:49,630 --> 01:10:51,500 No. Had one, didn't work. 654 01:10:51,890 --> 01:10:54,000 What went wrong? Hang on! 655 01:10:54,220 --> 01:10:55,630 I think I know! 656 01:10:56,140 --> 01:10:57,800 You kept things from her. 657 01:10:57,890 --> 01:10:59,510 I told her everything. 658 01:11:00,730 --> 01:11:02,390 The truth frightened her? 659 01:11:02,480 --> 01:11:04,470 There are two truths... 660 01:11:06,320 --> 01:11:07,640 ...you know? 661 01:11:07,990 --> 01:11:11,400 She had trouble reconciling them because I had trouble... 662 01:11:12,740 --> 01:11:14,320 ...reconciling them. 663 01:11:18,330 --> 01:11:19,580 Vicki thought... 664 01:11:19,670 --> 01:11:20,660 Vicki? 665 01:11:21,840 --> 01:11:23,660 Ice skater or stewardess? 666 01:11:25,840 --> 01:11:28,170 No, she was a photojournalist. 667 01:11:29,430 --> 01:11:31,420 Was Vicki right about your... 668 01:11:31,600 --> 01:11:33,420 ...difficulty with duality? 669 01:11:37,440 --> 01:11:38,680 You see... 670 01:11:39,610 --> 01:11:41,640 ...if I say yes, then... 671 01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,520 ...you'll think of me as a... 672 01:11:45,700 --> 01:11:48,480 ...Norman Bates, a Ted Bundy type and... 673 01:11:56,880 --> 01:11:58,870 You might not let me kiss you. 674 01:12:01,720 --> 01:12:05,040 It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down. 675 01:12:05,220 --> 01:12:08,380 Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed. 676 01:12:48,520 --> 01:12:49,850 I can't do that. 677 01:12:50,020 --> 01:12:51,260 Neither can I. 678 01:12:51,400 --> 01:12:55,020 This is a special bulletin. The Ice Princess has been kidnapped. 679 01:12:56,110 --> 01:13:00,320 Can you confirm reports of Batman's suspected involvement in the abduction? 680 01:13:01,370 --> 01:13:04,110 The evidence is purely circumstantial. 681 01:13:04,500 --> 01:13:09,080 This was found, stained with blood, in the missing girl's dressing room. 682 01:13:10,670 --> 01:13:13,070 - I must go. - No, it's your house. 683 01:13:13,510 --> 01:13:17,040 Hold on. Just sit for a second and relax. I'll be right back. 684 01:13:27,820 --> 01:13:30,020 I've got to go to the plaza. 685 01:13:30,200 --> 01:13:33,480 - He is begging me to show. - I hoped you'd snub him. 686 01:13:33,660 --> 01:13:37,230 I can't. There's been a kidnapping. Here's what I want you to do. 687 01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:38,320 Shit! 688 01:13:42,170 --> 01:13:45,330 Tell Selina, Ms. Kyle, I had to go out of town. 689 01:13:46,550 --> 01:13:50,120 Tell her that a big business deal came up... You know what? 690 01:13:50,680 --> 01:13:54,250 Let her know, not in some kind of dumb, "be-my-girlfriend" way... 691 01:13:54,350 --> 01:13:56,170 I'll relay the message. 692 01:14:01,190 --> 01:14:03,810 Mr. Wayne told me to tell you that... 693 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,600 Bruce, yes... 694 01:14:06,900 --> 01:14:08,770 Would you tell him... 695 01:14:09,030 --> 01:14:12,360 ...l've been going through... a lot of changes and... 696 01:14:14,370 --> 01:14:15,820 Just that... 697 01:14:16,040 --> 01:14:18,030 ...this is not a rejection... 698 01:14:18,540 --> 01:14:20,240 ...my abruptly leaving. 699 01:14:20,380 --> 01:14:22,780 In fact, he makes me feel the way... 700 01:14:23,380 --> 01:14:25,210 ...I hope I really am. 701 01:14:26,930 --> 01:14:30,550 Could you just make up a sonnet or... a dirty limerick? 702 01:14:31,220 --> 01:14:33,380 One has just sprung to mind. 703 01:14:34,730 --> 01:14:36,260 This way, ma'am. 704 01:15:37,510 --> 01:15:39,080 Ladies and Gentlemen. 705 01:15:39,350 --> 01:15:41,880 Please, may I have your attention? 706 01:15:44,270 --> 01:15:46,550 I know that to many of you... 707 01:15:46,850 --> 01:15:49,930 ...Gotham seems a bit beleaguered these days. 708 01:15:50,610 --> 01:15:53,170 But I want you to know your elected officials... 709 01:15:53,280 --> 01:15:55,350 ...and your police department... 710 01:15:55,450 --> 01:15:58,010 ...have the situation well in hand. 711 01:16:58,520 --> 01:16:59,590 Got to hurry. 712 01:16:59,690 --> 01:17:00,600 Thank you. 713 01:17:00,690 --> 01:17:02,510 It was set up to look like I did it. 714 01:17:02,610 --> 01:17:06,230 I'll tell the police I was kidnapped by an ugly birdman with fish breath. 715 01:17:06,320 --> 01:17:07,980 Did somebody say fish? 716 01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:10,400 I haven't been fed all day. 717 01:17:11,240 --> 01:17:12,610 Eat floor. 718 01:17:14,160 --> 01:17:15,320 High fiber. 719 01:17:16,500 --> 01:17:17,820 Hey, stud... 720 01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:21,240 ...I thought we had something together. - We do. 721 01:17:37,230 --> 01:17:39,140 Got to go. Girl talk. 722 01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:11,220 She let me go. I think 'cause I reasoned with her, girl-to-girl. 723 01:18:13,020 --> 01:18:15,060 Be careful. Don't move. 724 01:18:17,400 --> 01:18:18,770 Lawn dart! 725 01:18:22,870 --> 01:18:25,070 Rats with wings, do your thing. 726 01:18:31,590 --> 01:18:33,410 Batman pushed the Princess! 727 01:18:49,070 --> 01:18:50,340 Hold your fire! 728 01:19:05,380 --> 01:19:07,770 You're catnip to a girl like me. 729 01:19:09,050 --> 01:19:10,790 Handsome, dazed... 730 01:19:12,220 --> 01:19:13,960 ...and to die for. 731 01:19:21,890 --> 01:19:24,380 Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. 732 01:19:25,150 --> 01:19:26,640 But a kiss... 733 01:19:26,980 --> 01:19:29,550 ...can be even deadlier if you mean it. 734 01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:41,910 You're the second man who's killed me this week. 735 01:19:42,080 --> 01:19:44,080 But I've got seven lives left. 736 01:19:44,250 --> 01:19:45,700 I tried to save you... 737 01:19:45,800 --> 01:19:48,960 Seems like every woman you try to save ends up dead. 738 01:19:49,340 --> 01:19:51,170 Or deeply resentful. 739 01:19:52,180 --> 01:19:54,090 Maybe you should retire. 740 01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,240 Damn. 741 01:20:53,420 --> 01:20:54,870 Outstanding! 742 01:20:55,590 --> 01:20:57,910 You're Beauty and the Beast... 743 01:20:58,420 --> 01:21:01,210 ...in one luscious Christmas gift pack. 744 01:21:02,430 --> 01:21:04,830 You said you'd scare the Ice Princess. 745 01:21:04,930 --> 01:21:07,090 She looked pretty scared to me. 746 01:21:09,440 --> 01:21:11,260 A touch of the bubbly? 747 01:21:15,190 --> 01:21:17,270 So what are we waiting for? 748 01:21:17,490 --> 01:21:20,100 Let's consummate our fiendish union. 749 01:21:20,950 --> 01:21:22,110 What? 750 01:21:22,620 --> 01:21:24,070 Oh, come on. 751 01:21:24,620 --> 01:21:26,200 Can't you picture? 752 01:21:26,370 --> 01:21:28,530 It's dark in the mayor's mansion. 753 01:21:28,920 --> 01:21:32,160 I'm bushed, so here you come into the bedroom... 754 01:21:33,380 --> 01:21:35,460 ...twitching your little tail... 755 01:21:35,630 --> 01:21:38,960 ...my slippers in one hand, a dry martini in the other. 756 01:21:39,220 --> 01:21:40,290 Please. 757 01:21:40,810 --> 01:21:42,920 I wouldn't touch you to scratch you. 758 01:21:43,020 --> 01:21:47,340 You lousy minx! I should have you spayed! You sent out all the signals! 759 01:21:47,980 --> 01:21:50,460 I don't think I like you anymore! 760 01:21:58,490 --> 01:22:00,530 Good-bye, my unintended. 761 01:22:01,040 --> 01:22:02,310 Go to heaven. 762 01:23:02,020 --> 01:23:03,210 There he is! 763 01:23:05,860 --> 01:23:07,600 Don't adjust your sets. 764 01:23:07,820 --> 01:23:09,100 Welcome... 765 01:23:09,370 --> 01:23:12,440 ...to the Oswald Cobblepot School of Driving. 766 01:23:13,830 --> 01:23:16,230 Gentlemen, start your screaming. 767 01:23:50,370 --> 01:23:54,490 This may be a bad time to mention it, but my license has expired! 768 01:24:11,690 --> 01:24:12,680 Relax. 769 01:24:12,940 --> 01:24:17,350 I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham! 770 01:25:04,330 --> 01:25:08,410 You must admit I played this stinking city like a harp from hell! 771 01:25:28,650 --> 01:25:31,020 Helpless old lady at 12:00 high! 772 01:26:08,490 --> 01:26:09,730 That's funny. 773 01:26:18,500 --> 01:26:20,240 Now I'm a little worried. 774 01:26:47,160 --> 01:26:49,030 So he survived. Why worry? 775 01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:52,950 He didn't even lose a limb! An eyeball! Bladder control! 776 01:26:53,840 --> 01:26:57,250 Listen to them. They've lost faith in old symbols. 777 01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:00,870 They're ready to bond with you, the icon of the future. 778 01:27:00,970 --> 01:27:02,880 If it works, don't fix it. 779 01:27:03,140 --> 01:27:05,590 We'll celebrate tonight at my annual ball. 780 01:27:05,680 --> 01:27:07,670 Shreck and Cobblepot... 781 01:27:08,310 --> 01:27:10,430 ...the visionary alliance. 782 01:27:30,170 --> 01:27:31,990 When it came time... 783 01:27:32,340 --> 01:27:35,290 ...to ensure the safety of our fair city... 784 01:27:36,840 --> 01:27:39,130 ...did the mayor have a plan? 785 01:27:40,010 --> 01:27:41,090 No! 786 01:27:42,600 --> 01:27:44,380 He relied on a man. 787 01:27:46,350 --> 01:27:47,680 A Batman. 788 01:27:48,690 --> 01:27:51,600 A ticking time-bomb of a costumed freak... 789 01:27:53,030 --> 01:27:56,020 Our prime concern is this ghastly grotesque. 790 01:27:56,700 --> 01:27:59,860 But let's not forget about repairing the Batmobile. 791 01:28:00,120 --> 01:28:02,070 There's security to consider. 792 01:28:02,370 --> 01:28:05,320 We can't just take it to any old body shop. 793 01:28:06,460 --> 01:28:07,540 Security? 794 01:28:07,800 --> 01:28:10,040 Who let Vicki Vale into the Batcave? 795 01:28:10,130 --> 01:28:14,460 I'm working, I turn around and there she is. "Hi, Vick. Come on in." 796 01:28:23,900 --> 01:28:26,180 - Ready? - I'll take the stairs. 797 01:28:47,880 --> 01:28:50,790 You ask... am I up here for personal glory? 798 01:28:53,350 --> 01:28:54,420 No. 799 01:29:07,370 --> 01:29:10,110 The glory that I yearn to recapture... 800 01:29:11,370 --> 01:29:13,490 ...is the glory of Gotham! 801 01:29:31,640 --> 01:29:33,930 How can this be accomplished? 802 01:29:36,360 --> 01:29:37,680 I know... 803 01:29:37,900 --> 01:29:39,930 ...you're all concerned. 804 01:29:42,410 --> 01:29:43,590 Relax. 805 01:29:44,240 --> 01:29:48,650 I'll take care of the squealing, wretched, pinhead puppets of Gotham. 806 01:29:56,130 --> 01:29:57,700 I didn't say that. 807 01:30:00,090 --> 01:30:03,170 You must admit I played this stinking city... 808 01:30:04,260 --> 01:30:06,340 ...like a harp from hell! 809 01:30:08,100 --> 01:30:09,510 You must admit... 810 01:30:09,690 --> 01:30:13,180 ...I played this stinking city like a harp from hell! 811 01:31:06,590 --> 01:31:10,500 Why is there always someone who brings eggs and tomatoes to a speech? 812 01:31:34,490 --> 01:31:35,940 There he is! 813 01:32:07,530 --> 01:32:08,900 My babies. 814 01:32:10,200 --> 01:32:11,860 Did you miss me? 815 01:32:25,890 --> 01:32:27,540 Did you miss me? 816 01:32:29,220 --> 01:32:31,090 Great speech, Oswald. 817 01:32:32,350 --> 01:32:34,260 My name is not Oswald! 818 01:32:34,900 --> 01:32:36,390 It's Penguin! 819 01:32:36,690 --> 01:32:38,680 I am not a human being! 820 01:32:39,070 --> 01:32:41,390 I am an animal. Cold-blooded! 821 01:32:42,860 --> 01:32:44,440 Crank the A.C.! 822 01:32:44,660 --> 01:32:47,440 Where are my lists? Bring me the names! 823 01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:49,860 It's time. 824 01:32:50,250 --> 01:32:54,020 These are the names of the first-born sons of Gotham City. 825 01:32:54,670 --> 01:32:56,330 Just like I was. 826 01:32:56,760 --> 01:32:59,750 And like me, a terrible fate waits for them. 827 01:33:01,590 --> 01:33:04,300 Tonight, while their parents party... 828 01:33:04,930 --> 01:33:07,260 ...they'll be dreaming away... 829 01:33:07,690 --> 01:33:09,760 ...in their safe cribs... 830 01:33:10,020 --> 01:33:11,890 ...their soft beds... 831 01:33:12,270 --> 01:33:14,430 ...and we'll snatch them... 832 01:33:14,610 --> 01:33:16,600 ...carry them into the sewer... 833 01:33:16,780 --> 01:33:20,060 ...and toss them into a deep, dark, watery grave. 834 01:33:22,120 --> 01:33:23,280 Penguin? 835 01:33:24,040 --> 01:33:26,280 Killing sleeping children... 836 01:33:26,620 --> 01:33:28,370 ...isn't that a little... 837 01:33:38,640 --> 01:33:40,210 No, it's a lot. 838 01:33:50,190 --> 01:33:51,520 A reminder. 839 01:33:51,690 --> 01:33:55,690 Tonight is that loathsome party hosted by the odious Mr. Shreck. 840 01:33:56,030 --> 01:33:58,860 May we RSVP in the resoundingly negative? 841 01:33:59,580 --> 01:34:00,850 Not interested. 842 01:34:03,040 --> 01:34:04,280 Although... 843 01:34:06,630 --> 01:34:08,700 ...Selina Kyle might be there. 844 01:34:31,990 --> 01:34:33,730 Ingenious costume. 845 01:34:34,160 --> 01:34:35,650 Let me guess. 846 01:34:35,830 --> 01:34:37,820 Trust-fund goody-goody? 847 01:34:39,170 --> 01:34:40,570 Feeling good? 848 01:34:41,590 --> 01:34:45,000 You almost made a monster the mayor of Gotham City. 849 01:34:45,420 --> 01:34:47,750 I am the light of this city... 850 01:34:48,090 --> 01:34:50,580 ...and I am its mean, twisted soul. 851 01:34:51,010 --> 01:34:52,750 Does it matter who's mayor? 852 01:34:52,850 --> 01:34:54,040 It does to me. 853 01:34:54,430 --> 01:34:55,590 Yawn. 854 01:35:33,900 --> 01:35:36,300 I'm sorry about yesterday, but I had... 855 01:35:36,440 --> 01:35:39,890 ...a pretty big deal come through. Fall through, actually. 856 01:35:40,070 --> 01:35:42,940 It's okay. I had to go home and feed my cat. 857 01:35:51,920 --> 01:35:53,580 No hard feelings then? 858 01:35:56,090 --> 01:35:57,500 Actually... 859 01:35:59,630 --> 01:36:01,540 ...semi-hard, I'd say. 860 01:36:07,770 --> 01:36:11,260 There's a big, comfy California King over in Bedding. 861 01:36:12,820 --> 01:36:14,470 Why don't we... 862 01:36:15,610 --> 01:36:17,480 Take off our costumes? 863 01:36:20,990 --> 01:36:23,150 I'm tired of wearing masks. 864 01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:25,240 Me too. 865 01:36:26,670 --> 01:36:28,410 Let me ask you something. 866 01:36:29,670 --> 01:36:31,370 Why'd you come tonight? 867 01:36:32,010 --> 01:36:34,000 - You first. - To see you. 868 01:36:36,470 --> 01:36:37,460 Lovely. 869 01:36:39,140 --> 01:36:42,380 I wish I could say the same, but I came for Max. 870 01:36:45,350 --> 01:36:46,970 Do you mean you... 871 01:36:47,310 --> 01:36:48,680 Not you and Max? 872 01:36:50,150 --> 01:36:51,560 Me and Max? 873 01:36:58,160 --> 01:36:59,900 No. This and Max. 874 01:37:03,170 --> 01:37:07,290 Don't tell me killing Max won't solve anything, because it will. 875 01:37:08,380 --> 01:37:11,710 Aren't you tired of this sanctimonious robber baron... 876 01:37:11,880 --> 01:37:14,790 ...coming out on top when he should be six feet under? 877 01:37:14,890 --> 01:37:19,050 You may have problems with your boss, but who do you think you are? 878 01:37:22,060 --> 01:37:24,310 I don't know anymore, Bruce. 879 01:37:38,830 --> 01:37:40,990 A kiss under the mistletoe. 880 01:37:44,260 --> 01:37:46,410 "Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it." 881 01:37:46,510 --> 01:37:48,750 "But a kiss can be even deadlier... 882 01:37:51,260 --> 01:37:52,800 "...if you mean it." 883 01:38:03,110 --> 01:38:04,520 Oh, my God. 884 01:38:05,450 --> 01:38:07,980 Does this mean we have to start fighting? 885 01:38:09,030 --> 01:38:10,610 Let's go outside. 886 01:38:46,490 --> 01:38:48,570 - Are you okay? - I'm all right. 887 01:38:56,760 --> 01:38:58,660 You didn't invite me... 888 01:38:58,930 --> 01:39:00,580 ...so I crashed! 889 01:39:04,140 --> 01:39:05,210 What do you want? 890 01:39:05,310 --> 01:39:07,130 Right now, my troops... 891 01:39:07,390 --> 01:39:09,640 ...are fanning out across town... 892 01:39:09,900 --> 01:39:11,720 ...for your children! 893 01:39:12,020 --> 01:39:13,010 Yes! 894 01:39:13,190 --> 01:39:15,270 For your first-born sons! 895 01:39:16,030 --> 01:39:18,900 The ones you left defenseless at home... 896 01:39:19,200 --> 01:39:21,520 ...so you could dress up like jerks... 897 01:39:21,620 --> 01:39:23,740 ...get juiced and dance... 898 01:39:24,540 --> 01:39:25,860 ...badly! 899 01:39:30,460 --> 01:39:32,450 I've personally come... 900 01:39:33,050 --> 01:39:35,420 ...for Gotham's favorite son... 901 01:39:35,630 --> 01:39:37,420 ...Mr. Chip Shreck. 902 01:39:38,640 --> 01:39:41,340 You're coming with me, you Great White Dope... 903 01:39:42,310 --> 01:39:44,630 ...to die, way down in the sewer! 904 01:39:45,310 --> 01:39:49,090 Not Chip. If you have any human feeling, take me instead. 905 01:39:51,400 --> 01:39:53,100 I don't. So, no! 906 01:39:53,570 --> 01:39:54,840 I'm the one you want. 907 01:39:54,950 --> 01:39:58,440 Isn't it Max Shreck who manipulated and betrayed you? 908 01:39:59,000 --> 01:40:01,070 Isn't it Max, not Chip... 909 01:40:01,670 --> 01:40:05,160 ...you want to see immersed to his eyeballs in raw sewage? 910 01:40:10,170 --> 01:40:11,920 Okay, you got a point. 911 01:40:12,260 --> 01:40:15,000 I'll let the little prince live, for now. 912 01:40:15,260 --> 01:40:16,450 In the duck! 913 01:40:43,960 --> 01:40:46,120 This is going to be good... 914 01:40:46,880 --> 01:40:50,630 ...to cut down a whole crop of Gotham's most promising... 915 01:40:51,720 --> 01:40:53,380 ...before their prime. 916 01:40:55,730 --> 01:40:58,290 You ask me... how do I lure them in? 917 01:41:02,440 --> 01:41:04,810 A little "Pied Penguin" action. 918 01:41:07,410 --> 01:41:09,890 And you get to watch them sink... 919 01:41:10,750 --> 01:41:12,570 ...into a deep puddle... 920 01:41:12,750 --> 01:41:15,280 ...of your industrial by-products. 921 01:41:16,130 --> 01:41:17,230 Then... 922 01:41:17,460 --> 01:41:19,080 ...you join them. 923 01:41:52,960 --> 01:41:55,530 Hurry up and get those kids loaded. 924 01:42:05,140 --> 01:42:07,130 Right this way, kiddies. 925 01:42:07,690 --> 01:42:09,180 Come with me. 926 01:42:25,670 --> 01:42:27,990 So where are all the children? 927 01:42:32,010 --> 01:42:33,330 "Dear Penguin: 928 01:42:33,550 --> 01:42:36,670 "The children regret they're unable to attend. 929 01:42:37,220 --> 01:42:38,540 "Batman! " 930 01:42:52,070 --> 01:42:53,850 My dear penguins... 931 01:42:55,240 --> 01:42:57,720 ...we stand on a great threshold! 932 01:42:59,200 --> 01:43:01,200 It's okay to be scared! 933 01:43:01,870 --> 01:43:04,360 Many of you won't be coming back. 934 01:43:04,750 --> 01:43:06,540 Thanks to Batman... 935 01:43:07,210 --> 01:43:09,040 ...the time has come... 936 01:43:09,260 --> 01:43:11,660 ...to punish all God's children! 937 01:43:13,180 --> 01:43:16,050 First-, second-, third- And fourth-born! 938 01:43:16,850 --> 01:43:18,380 Why be biased? 939 01:43:18,690 --> 01:43:20,340 Male and female! 940 01:43:21,100 --> 01:43:23,350 Hell, the sexes are equal... 941 01:43:24,270 --> 01:43:26,520 ...with their erogenous zones... 942 01:43:26,690 --> 01:43:28,440 ...blown sky-high! 943 01:43:31,370 --> 01:43:32,520 Forward... 944 01:43:33,870 --> 01:43:35,030 ...march! 945 01:43:35,450 --> 01:43:37,610 The liberation of Gotham... 946 01:43:38,790 --> 01:43:40,280 ...has begun! 947 01:44:25,430 --> 01:44:27,750 The penguins are moving above ground. 948 01:44:53,130 --> 01:44:54,620 Penguin army... 949 01:44:54,800 --> 01:44:58,120 ...approaching launch destination at Gotham Plaza. 950 01:44:59,470 --> 01:45:01,590 One minute until ignition. 951 01:45:02,140 --> 01:45:04,420 They wouldn't put me on a pedestal... 952 01:45:04,600 --> 01:45:07,000 ...so I'm laying them on a slab! 953 01:45:08,270 --> 01:45:11,010 Penguins seem to be converging on Gotham Plaza. 954 01:45:34,260 --> 01:45:36,380 Thirty seconds until ignition. 955 01:45:38,350 --> 01:45:40,880 Estimated casualties after launch: 956 01:45:42,020 --> 01:45:43,590 100,000 people. 957 01:45:47,020 --> 01:45:49,810 The penguins have reached Gotham Square. 958 01:46:09,220 --> 01:46:11,210 Fifteen seconds to ignition. 959 01:46:13,800 --> 01:46:15,500 Ready when you are, sir. 960 01:46:18,310 --> 01:46:20,050 I've got the coordinates. 961 01:46:27,900 --> 01:46:29,600 Let's turn them around. 962 01:46:38,170 --> 01:46:39,660 Something is wrong. 963 01:46:41,420 --> 01:46:43,500 Something has jammed the signal. 964 01:46:53,770 --> 01:46:56,140 They seem to be turning around. 965 01:47:27,220 --> 01:47:30,090 There is also something coming this way. 966 01:47:31,060 --> 01:47:33,050 Very large. Very fast. 967 01:47:49,330 --> 01:47:50,660 Who's there? 968 01:47:57,930 --> 01:48:00,250 I'm homing in on the signal's origin. 969 01:49:16,310 --> 01:49:19,380 You're jealous because I'm a genuine freak... 970 01:49:19,730 --> 01:49:21,970 ...and you have to wear a mask! 971 01:49:22,230 --> 01:49:23,890 You might be right. 972 01:49:26,490 --> 01:49:30,430 But what it all comes down to is: Who's holding the umbrella? 973 01:49:56,940 --> 01:49:58,300 My babies! 974 01:51:35,010 --> 01:51:39,340 I don't know what you want, but I can get it with a minimum of fuss. 975 01:51:41,520 --> 01:51:42,680 Money. 976 01:51:43,020 --> 01:51:44,010 Jewels. 977 01:51:44,310 --> 01:51:46,300 A very big ball of string. 978 01:51:50,780 --> 01:51:52,440 Your blood, Max. 979 01:51:52,660 --> 01:51:54,230 I gave at the office. 980 01:51:54,660 --> 01:51:56,820 A half-pint. I'm talking gallons. 981 01:51:57,200 --> 01:51:58,650 Let's make a deal! 982 01:51:58,830 --> 01:52:00,950 Other than my blood, what can I do? 983 01:52:01,040 --> 01:52:03,320 Sorry, Max. A die for a die. 984 01:52:14,560 --> 01:52:16,920 You're not just saving a life... 985 01:52:17,060 --> 01:52:19,090 Shut up. You're going to jail. 986 01:52:19,810 --> 01:52:24,060 Don't be naive. The law doesn't apply to people like him... or us. 987 01:52:24,650 --> 01:52:26,230 Wrong on both counts. 988 01:52:36,330 --> 01:52:37,490 Why do this? 989 01:52:41,500 --> 01:52:43,660 Let's just take him to the police. 990 01:52:45,260 --> 01:52:46,960 Then we can go home... 991 01:52:48,180 --> 01:52:49,340 ...together. 992 01:52:55,400 --> 01:52:56,470 Selina... 993 01:52:59,690 --> 01:53:01,350 ...don't you see? 994 01:53:02,490 --> 01:53:03,760 We're the same. 995 01:53:06,200 --> 01:53:07,610 We're the same. 996 01:53:09,330 --> 01:53:10,400 Split... 997 01:53:10,830 --> 01:53:12,320 ...down the center. 998 01:53:33,900 --> 01:53:35,140 Please. 999 01:53:36,400 --> 01:53:37,560 Bruce... 1000 01:53:38,400 --> 01:53:41,560 ...I would love to live with you in your castle... 1001 01:53:44,080 --> 01:53:46,820 ...forever, just like in a fairy tale. 1002 01:53:52,590 --> 01:53:56,360 I just couldn't live with myself. Don't pretend this is a happy ending. 1003 01:53:59,090 --> 01:54:00,340 Selina Kyle. 1004 01:54:01,850 --> 01:54:03,260 You're fired. 1005 01:54:03,680 --> 01:54:05,260 And Bruce Wayne... 1006 01:54:05,770 --> 01:54:07,590 ...why are you dressed up like Batman? 1007 01:54:07,690 --> 01:54:10,090 Because he is Batman, you moron! 1008 01:54:11,480 --> 01:54:12,560 Was. 1009 01:54:15,150 --> 01:54:16,100 Don't. 1010 01:54:16,280 --> 01:54:19,900 You killed me, the Penguin killed me, Batman killed me. 1011 01:54:20,450 --> 01:54:23,490 Three lives down. Got enough to finish me off? 1012 01:54:23,580 --> 01:54:25,110 One way to find out. 1013 01:54:28,710 --> 01:54:29,700 Four. 1014 01:54:29,960 --> 01:54:31,120 Five. 1015 01:54:34,590 --> 01:54:35,780 Still alive! 1016 01:54:45,480 --> 01:54:46,560 Six. 1017 01:54:46,730 --> 01:54:47,810 Seven. 1018 01:54:48,030 --> 01:54:50,270 All good girls go to heaven. 1019 01:54:56,740 --> 01:54:58,320 Two lives left. 1020 01:55:00,580 --> 01:55:03,060 I'll save one for next Christmas. 1021 01:55:05,500 --> 01:55:07,410 But in the meantime... 1022 01:55:09,260 --> 01:55:11,420 ...how about a kiss, Santie Claus? 1023 01:56:42,620 --> 01:56:43,770 Shit! 1024 01:56:44,120 --> 01:56:45,940 I picked a cute one. 1025 01:56:49,460 --> 01:56:51,530 The heat's getting to me. 1026 01:56:52,460 --> 01:56:54,700 I'll murder you momentarily. 1027 01:56:57,010 --> 01:56:58,460 But first... 1028 01:56:59,220 --> 01:57:01,290 ...I need a cool drink... 1029 01:57:02,010 --> 01:57:03,670 ...of ice water. 1030 01:58:45,720 --> 01:58:47,040 Stop the car. 1031 02:00:08,060 --> 02:00:09,720 Come what may... 1032 02:00:10,150 --> 02:00:12,140 ...Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne! 1033 02:00:13,150 --> 02:00:14,890 Merry Christmas, Alfred! 1034 02:00:16,660 --> 02:00:18,310 Goodwill toward men. 1035 02:00:21,000 --> 02:00:22,240 And women.